Wherein Angel takes a metaphor

And maybe takes the metaphor a bit too far. Or maybe that's not quite the right words.

I'm beginning to think there are at least two kinds of divorces. There is the 2x4 upside the head kind where one person in the relationship completely did not see it coming. Just one day--BANG--and there's a divorce.

Then there is the kind I'm going through. You see the divorce coming like a train coming down the tracks. It doesn't come as a complete surprise. You may be, like I was, in denial that the train is coming. You may think, like I did, that the train will never actually reach you. It just looks like it is coming for you, but you are SURE that there is another set of tracks you don't see that the train will take and go elsewhere. Not at you.

I saw the train and was sure, that even at the last minute, Superman was going to come and STOP THAT TRAIN before it hit me. Something, a miracle, would happen.

But, no miracle happened. The train hit me full force and threw me, tumbling, down the steep embankment where I lay at the bottom saying "Stupid Angel, you saw it coming. Why didn't you DO something? Why didn't you get out of the way?" At least the train didn't squash me under its wheels, never to be heard from again.

I lay at the bottom of that embankment for a little while. Lots of coulda, shoulda, woulda, and what ifs were running through my head. But, now, I'm starting to make my way back up the hill. It's not easy and I sometimes go very slow and basically crawl, but I'm headed back up. I am so not ready to get back on those tracks, but I'm refusing to just lay at the bottom.

Someday, somewhere I'll be ready to take my chances and I'll step back onto the tracks. But until that day comes, I'm going to keep pulling myself up and maybe stop once in a while and look around me. It can't be all bad. I might see a flower in bloom or a tree that has just leafed out. Or maybe, as I crawl higher, the view will open up and get prettier.

And I'll gain a little more perspective.