Two days left!

I am almost done with my thankful/grateful January. Thank goodness. I am thankful for Brian who cracked me up at the restaurant, Debbie who was willing to learn "Grandpa's Game", Mom for listening to me and sharing her opinion, Duane for taking us out to dinner, and Shanda for the early morning phone call.

Only a few more..

I am thankful for Trish at Passport Motors for being my Bug doctor, my green travel coffee mug so I'm not so tempted by Starbucks, my ipod for letting me get away for a little while, Zoie for hosting an awesome group, and Parkside Papers online for more of my favorite journals.

Thankful for me

Seems a bit silly, but I'm going to thank myself today. You're probably not supposed to do that, but it's my list, so I can make up my own rules. I am thankful to myself for: choosing good-for-me foods even when I hear the Siren call of french fries, reaching to others for help, exercising, making right decisions, and looking at the good side of life.

And yet more thankfulness

I am thankful to Molly for being such a positive person, Colleen for telling me how strong I am, the Mars Hill podcast Letter on a Letter, people who dare to have dinner with me, and Sy for somehow helping me flip the switch into okayness.

Song thankfulness

The following songs have made me feel better when I listen to them. So I am thankful for In Repair by John Mayer, Home by Daughtry, Something to Say by Toad the Wet Sprocket, Little Moments by Brad Paisley, and Erase/Replace by Foo Fighters.

Hateful?

Yesterday I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Right from the get-go, I felt very negative. I could have easily done a "hateful" instead of "grateful" list yesterday. But I woke up on the right side today and am ready to look back on the good side of life. Here we go.

I am grateful to Michelle for inviting me out to dinner on Saturday night, Scott and Carol for taco dip stuff and just hanging out, Mom for telling me I'm normal (whew!), Eric for understanding, and Shanda for letting me monopolize the conversation.

I'm noticing that I have been moving to being grateful to people instead of being grateful for things. I think that's a nice way to be.

January 24, 2009

I am thankful for Thomas and Charlene for the pizza and conversation last night, Kelli and Kerry for making me feel the love, warmer weather, the song Second Chance from Shinedown, and Sharpie markers with big paper for my creative streak.

Double up

Today you get a double shot of thankful.

I am thankful for the water pressure in my apartment, the Pooh quilt my Mom made for me, my Dyson vacuum, the wonderful customer service people at my credit union, Roger for making me laugh, Molly and Kelli for tagging me, the women in my small group, Scott and Carol for offering to help move big stuff, a different Scott for ever-so-nicely pointing out how quickly I jump to conclusions, and Kat for her "blossoming" words!

January 21, 2009

Today I am thankful for Shanda's Mom who is able to be with Shanda when I can't, that my cats have finally forgiven me for the move and are sleeping on the bed again, Chocolate Chip cookies warm from the oven, electric blankets, and Shirley (again) for reassuring me that I don't have to be Little Miss Perfect to be loved.

Oops, missed a day

I am thankful for hot showers (after two days of pipes freezing!), Stacey for an awesome brunch at Elmos, Dave's message of how God is still in control and is way bigger than my problem, Zen green tea, and SNOW DAYS!!!!

Grateful/Thankful

I am grateful for tinted primer for covering up bright green, strong arms to move couches, 40% off sales for needed clothing, text messages for communicating when I have a low signal, and the NHC band for a rockin' set today!

Late thankful

I am thankful for Kat (again) for being a "guide" to me, that I have been able to stick to my budget and still have some fun, Mike for wanting to make sure I leave North Carolina with "good thoughts" about his native state, the Toad song "I Will Not Take These Things for Granted" for saying it exactly the way I wish I could, and heated seats in the Bug.

Half way through thankful month

I am thankful for small group for introducing me to the Captivating book, Shanda (again) for the Starbucks card that I used to buy more coffee beans, The Story on NPR for the story on a couple that has been together for 27 years and still have a twinkle in their eyes for each other, Scott for his reassurance that it is all going to be OK, and This American Life (again) for a story where the guy says that something is going to make him 'really really happy' and just the way he said it made me smile.

Daily five

I am thankful for my hairstylist Mary (who promises to say yes if I offer to fly her up to Michigan to cut my hair), Ebay so I can get just what I want at a lower price, Eric for stepping up on the house selling stuff, Weight Watchers for teaching me what I needed to do to lose 40lbs last year (and maintaining it this year), and peanut butter sandwiches because they are yummy and oh-so-easy.

Being thankful

I have to admit, doing these grateful lists feels...corny to me. It feels like I am forcing it at times. But, it does get me thinking of the good things and that can't be all bad, right? Maybe it is a "fake it until you feel it" thing. I am thankful for Brian who makes me laugh (SAHWEET!), my workplace for letting me go home early on Monday, Perry Noble's podcasts (NewSpring church), my Mom for celebrating with me when things go right (and a million other things), and Jeff who reminds me that 40 degree temperatures are warm compared to North Dakota!

5T

I am thankful for naps, that I don't take comfort in shopping, facebook for connecting me up with one of my favorite cousins, people telling me I AM a positive person, and RB at Tri-Printers for saving me boxes.

More thankfulness

Today's five has been very hard to come up with. I have not had a good weekend and it is hard to find the good things at the moment. But find them I will. I am thankful for the co-worker who told me that I've been handling everything with grace and good humor, for the Captivating book I am reading for my small group which makes me feel somewhat normal, for the shrimp/potato chowder recipe from my MIL, for my breadmaker, and for the workout room at my apartment complex.

I'm thankful for

I'm thankful for a good story to drop myself into, Shirley (late night phone call taker), a relaxing Saturday, Dave and Nancy for speaking truth into my life, and having friends to go to dinner with.

Wherein Angel takes a metaphor

And maybe takes the metaphor a bit too far. Or maybe that's not quite the right words.

I'm beginning to think there are at least two kinds of divorces. There is the 2x4 upside the head kind where one person in the relationship completely did not see it coming. Just one day--BANG--and there's a divorce.

Then there is the kind I'm going through. You see the divorce coming like a train coming down the tracks. It doesn't come as a complete surprise. You may be, like I was, in denial that the train is coming. You may think, like I did, that the train will never actually reach you. It just looks like it is coming for you, but you are SURE that there is another set of tracks you don't see that the train will take and go elsewhere. Not at you.

I saw the train and was sure, that even at the last minute, Superman was going to come and STOP THAT TRAIN before it hit me. Something, a miracle, would happen.

But, no miracle happened. The train hit me full force and threw me, tumbling, down the steep embankment where I lay at the bottom saying "Stupid Angel, you saw it coming. Why didn't you DO something? Why didn't you get out of the way?" At least the train didn't squash me under its wheels, never to be heard from again.

I lay at the bottom of that embankment for a little while. Lots of coulda, shoulda, woulda, and what ifs were running through my head. But, now, I'm starting to make my way back up the hill. It's not easy and I sometimes go very slow and basically crawl, but I'm headed back up. I am so not ready to get back on those tracks, but I'm refusing to just lay at the bottom.

Someday, somewhere I'll be ready to take my chances and I'll step back onto the tracks. But until that day comes, I'm going to keep pulling myself up and maybe stop once in a while and look around me. It can't be all bad. I might see a flower in bloom or a tree that has just leafed out. Or maybe, as I crawl higher, the view will open up and get prettier.

And I'll gain a little more perspective.

Thanks from Friday

I am thankful for Angela (you can't leave), Becky (ditto), Iron Chef America (one of the few TV shows I watch), Kelli (what a picture), and finally regaining my upbeat, positive attitude.

Thankful for....

This morning I'm thankful for Krista (hmm, should I be your friend...ABSOLUTELY!), Rhino journals, Kat (yay, sushi!), sunshine, and my devotional time in the morning.

Gratitude

I am grateful for long walks to clear my head, NHC podcasts (especially the baggage series from last year), Bali Hai, a good night of sleep, and the telephone for keeping me connected with those who are far away.

Wednesday Thank Yous

My thankful lists normally come from what has happened the day before, so I guess this is really a gratitude list from Tuesday. I am thankful for scented candles, the Durham Public Library, wool socks, the people who have given me compliments on my Christmas dress picture (you know who you are!), and for time to sit and think.

Pep talk

You are going to have a great future. You are going to achieve your dreams. You are one very strong woman. Figure out what you really want and then do what is in your power to do that. Trust yourself. Believe in yourself. Realize that you've got doors opening for you. Realize that you are taking positive steps in the direction you want to go. Chin up girl. God has got some great things in store for you--just wait and see.

G5

Today I'm grateful for: a hot bath with Amazing Grace bubbles, sleepytime tea, an e-mail Nancy sent to me, Papermate pens, and enough money to buy my groceries for the week.

Grateful on a Monday

I am grateful for: my job, my cats, my Bug, Target, and the 60 degree weather!

January 3

Today I am thankful for: coffee, ibuprofen, a warm apartment, internet, and whoever invented the dishwasher

Let's start up the gratefulness

I am grateful for gingerbread pancakes, Leah, who went hiking with me yesterday, cough drops, hot tea, Shanda, who assures me she is fascinated with all I have to say :)